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Happy Chanukah,
belated happy Diwali and of course, a merry
Christmas.
You have arrived at the biggest
marketing month of all: December. During the
six weeks leading up to the 25th, many retailers
will earn as much as 25 per cent of their entire
annual turnover. Which means that the ‘store
wars’ have been declared and marketers
are armed with special offers for the annual
‘game of chicken’ with consumers who’ll
wait ‘till the last minute to grab bargains.
This year promises to be especially tense, as
the ‘big day’ falls on Saturday.
Away from the bloody battlefields
of high streets and broadband connections to
the mighty eBay and Amazon, each year people
reminisce about how Christmas used to be less
sponsorship-led; in fact, more spiritual. As
a Jew, what with Christmas falling on Shabbat,
I can assure you that if it is any consolation,
for me at least, this year the day will definitely
be spiritual! However, for many others sponsorship
of perennial favourites like the Christmas movie
and seasonal airing of Coronation Street is
bound to cause the odd lip to curl up in repugnance.
Following the Boxing Day rush,
there will be the annual dump of direct mail
junk on people’s doorsteps reminding us
there that ‘there are only 211 days to
book a summer holiday. (A great opportunity
to buy the kids sun hats sporting logos of some
holiday company specialising in drink and dive
swimming experiences.)
Yet, it’s not all doom
and gloom (even for a miserable old ‘ Scrooge’
like me). 2004 saw Blair kicking out tobacco
sponsored British motor–racing. I heard
one bubbly PR rep from a tobacco dealer (sorry
– manufacturer) chastise good old ‘Uncle’
John Humphries on Radio 4’s ‘Today’
programme, for not taking into account the eight
billion British Pounds Sterling that the industry
provides cuddly, but nice Mr Brown each year.
Shamefully ‘Uncle’ John didn’t
have the latest figures at hand for the cost
to the NHS to deal with so many people who die
or fall ill because of cigarette smoking-related
illnesses.
Still, Scotland has stamped
out their stubs, as has Ireland and even the
English are following suit – to a degree.
Next on Blair’s 2004
/2005 sponsorship hit list comes junk food’
advertised on TV. When asked for an opinion
of the suggestion that commercials for such
gunk aimed at children may not be aired before
9pm, another industry PR rep warned ‘Uncle’
John that if wind-inducing soft drinks and processed
plastic food companies were to stop sponsoring
TV programmes through the likes of commercials,
the British Nation would be doomed to spend
the rest of their lives watching dire American
programmes like ‘Jerry Springer’.
(Pass the video cable to flagellate myself:
No more ‘wonderful’ British reality
shows where men swap wives, nubile singing nymphs
break down on TV, begging grown men for clemency
and celebrities daring to go on the telly without
make-up.
Maybe it’s true: Christmas
really has gone to the reindeers. Could we have
really lost our spirituality? The answer comes,
not from the gentlemen and ladies in the pulpit
but a geek in America who claims that certain
people are born with a ‘God-gene’.
Apparently you can tell if you have this gene
by conducting some simple tests:
Do you have any concern for
the future of the world?
Do you have a sense of belonging
to certain people?
Do you feel that there is
a greater purpose to this thing called ’life”?
If you answered ‘yes’
to any of the above, congratulations! Pour out
the Holy Water, light the menorah, release the
fireworks; you have the ‘God-gene’
so are spiritual.
I like this idea so much
that I may even market it; we’ll get Andy Owen
to stop criticising everyone and everything
for a moment and write the direct mail package.
We’ll get Dave Chaffey to devise the e-marketing
campaign, we’ll call on the CIM to launch
a new ‘Insights’ programme into religion
and brands, we’ll put a banner ad on WNIM
asking people to ‘click and pray for a
Christmas how it used to be’. We’ll
get Anna from the marketer to insert a
scratch and sniff ‘essence of spirituality
perfume strip on the next edition of the
marketer and I’ll even put a good word
in with the Man next time I am in shull.
Ah Christmas! It’s good
enough to make me want to wear that old red
and white woolly jumper. (Then again, maybe
not.)
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About the Author
Jonathan Gabay is on
the core Faculty of the CIM.
Up and coming popular events featuring
Jonathan include:
- Unleashing creativity throughout your
organisation
- Beyond Brainstorming
- Advanced business presentations (three
day course)
Be sure to check out Jonathan's website
- www.gabaynet.com
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